Eddie Murphy Sings
I recently became the proud owner of the 1993 Eddie Murphy album Love's Alright. I won't bore you with the details of exactly how this happened. It happened and that's all you really need to know.
When I first saw this CD I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not. The cover features Murphy in an unbuttoned white shirt and sunglasses looking very serious against a backdrop of clouds and blue sky and little cartoon hearts with wings. Hmm. Well, I guess it was 1993...
Listening to the tracks didn't exactly clear things up right away either. I approached the liner notes with caution. The first song, "Yeah", didn't have any lyrics to read, so I will print them for you here, in their etirety:
Yeah, oh yah, well all right, yeah
Yeah, yeah, all the people say yeah
Just say yeah, come on, yeah
y-to-the-e-to-the-s, everybody say yeah
Oh, and did I mention this song is a slow jam? It is. And not only is it a nineties slow jam, it's a nineties slow jam that features a dozen other recording artists. Babyface, Bon Jovi, Garth Brooks, En Vogue, Amy Grant, MC Hammer, Heavy D, Michael and Janet Jackson, Julio Iglesias, Elton John, Patti LaBelle, Paul McCartny, Barry White, and Stevie Wonder all got together and said "Hey, let's all sing the same word over and over again on Eddie Murphy's new album. That will be fun!" I have one question - How did Amy Grant end up in there?
As the CD slowly and quietly whirred to a stop eleven songs later, I was left with one conclusion. Love's Alright was surprisingly innocuous. It wasn't great, but it wasn't the worst thing I'd ever heard in my life. There were a few moments that I thought, "Well, that was an interesting choice. Not sure I would have gone that way...", but for the most part the lyrics and general vibe were your typical R&B fare. Murphy called some of the songs "psychedelic psoul" and a revewier once likened the sound to "Prince meets I Am The Walrus." Okay.
Remember when everyone bought a keyboard? Remember how fun it was to try out all of the different buttons? Harpsichord? Yes, please! Cymbals? Bring them on! Oboe? Why not! Yah, I'm pretty sure they used one of those keyboards on this album. But you know what, I can't actually say anything outrightly bad about this somewhat bland contribution to the music world. It may have bombed (royally) when it came out, but a lot of the songs are about love and it's hard to find fault in that.
You're right, Eddie Murphy, love is alright.
Well heck, I wasn't expecting not to be able to make fun of this CD. I don't know whether I should be disappointed or not. And now I have to get on YouTube because I heard E.M. has some new songs out and I can't not listen to them.
And I wonder what happens to my weekends...
Leave a comment after you look this album up on the internet!
Open Letter to Ants
To the ants that have taken over my apartment:
If you are on some kind of mission to save your colony from evil grasshoppers, I apologize, but this has got to stop. Enough is enough. You have turned me into someone I no longer recognize. One minute I am a Samurai Warrior bent on destroying everything in my path (e.g. you) and the next I am brushing wildly at my arm because I live in permanent fear that you are crawling all over me. Not cool, ants. Not cool.
My kitchen countertops have become a barren wasteland. I can longer leave out a half eaten cupcake or even the crumbs from a piece of pizza because you come pouring out of the walls the moment I put the plate down. And don't try to tell me you're helping me to be cleaner. I'm not buying your invasion as a selfless act. Because of you I am constantly armed with a sponge, ready to swipe your endless trails into the sink. What are you even looking for? There's nothing for you here! Nothing, I tell you!
You should see a specialist about your obsessive compulsive need to scurry across every inch of my kitchen and beyond. You need something from inside my hall closet? Really? You know you can't carry away a whole piece of dog food. Why do you insist on surrounding the dog bowl? You ignore a plate that once had a sugary slice of apple pie on it, yet you go to great lengths to find a napkin with a teeny tiny bit of scrambled egg on it. Why?!
It doesn't have to be this way, ants. Remember those carefree days when you respected boundaries? You stayed outside and I would admire you while out on my walks, shaking my head in amusement at your antics. Remember how I would chuckle good naturedly as you tried to take a piece of leaf back to your ant hill that was five times the size of your whole body? I used to admire your tenacity, but now you have turned this pointless determination against me. You've ruined our once healthy relationship.
Clearly my mixture of alternately hoping that you will go away on your own and washing you down the drain in a rage is not working. This is the end of the line, ants. Leave now or it's curtains. Don't make me bring out the ant traps.
"Life is pure adventure, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we will be able to treat life as art."